Most parents would claim that they could only do their best in raising their children based on their own experiences, beliefs, and passed down information. Some will adjust their child-raising techniques based on what they liked or disliked from their own childhood, and what they enjoyed and didn’t enjoy. They use this information to create a new platform in their own household to do “the best they can do with what they know.” I personally have used this reasoning enough times to justify the perceived good or bad behavior of my children.
We also believe that the end results of our children’s journey are all and completely our responsibility. Parents feel despair when their children didn’t turn out the way they were expecting, or do what was asked of them. We imposed our needs, beliefs, and expectations on our children. When this is not accomplished to our “demands,” we label them as problematic or unappreciative people who don’t value all the things we have done for them.
It’s like we are expecting a payback for having them and raising them. We say we love them unconditionally, but secretly we depend on them to make us feel good about ourselves. We are expecting to use them as a testament to how great a parent we are. We compare them to other family’s children to gauge the level of acceptance and adjustments our children adhered to like an ongoing competition between – Who has the best child-raising technique?
We measure our success outcome with whether our children followed our path as we planned for them or are outwardly successful in the face of what the world thinks of as successful. We still allow success to signify a beautiful home, lots of money, prestigious job positions, opulence, and societal acceptance.
In reality, we have all arrived here on earth with a guidance manual explicitly made to our personal needs. That manual is called our Soul.
Before your Soul chose to return to earth, it made a pact with itself to accomplish certain tasks and learn specific lessons that will allow it to elevate human consciousness and transcend into a higher realm in the spiritual world when it returns to it.
If this is the case, why are we allowing that manual to be buried in the ground and disregarded as unnecessary? Now more than ever, we need that manual.
Your question is probably; where do I find that manual?
That manual is embedded in the deeper consciousness of your inner journey, your higher God-self. Your inner Universal Intelligence that guides you at every turn. As enlightened adults on this new journey, you understand the big picture; the Universal guidelines to living your best lives, yet we have not incorporated these teachings into how we raise, nurture and guide the youth.
The youth are still being punished and reprimanded for not doing what adults, church, government, and society expects of them. We are still robbing them of their individuality and worse from fulfilling their true purpose on this journey.
A child that “acts out and rebels” is a child that deep down has realized that what is asked of it is not in alignment with its truth and its purpose. The child may not know why it feels anger, frustration, and confusion. It only understands that it is not being heard, understood, and respected as an equal individual Soul with a mission to accomplish specific tasks.
It is time for us as parents to be aware that our job has an expiration date. Our job is to clothes, feed, nurture, give shelter, educate, and prepare them for a future journey they will have to navigate on their own once they reach adolescence age. Parents who continue to harp on their children after this timeframe are doing more damage than good.
We need to allow them to walk their own path, find their own way, experience their own mistakes, recuperate, and try again while slowly finding their inner voice where peace, harmony, and happiness resides.
How do we do that?
We first must acknowledge that we did do the best that we could with what we know and hope we passed the right lessons on. Next, we allow them to fly away to experience the feel of the wind in their faces and the air beneath their wings as they soar into a life they were brought here to live.
We are still there for them. We are still their guides, advisors, and cheerleaders, but we now do it from a distance.
An analogy I recently shared with a friend was that we should set our little birds free, show them how to fly, and then watch them go as we run, carrying the nest under them, in case they fall. If they do fall, we release them again and again until their wings are strong enough to carry them into their bliss, purpose, desires, and passions.
Parents should ask their kids, what they want, what makes them feel good, observe when their faces light up and when it doesn’t, to figure out who they truly are, what they like and what makes them happy, then encourage and nurture those feelings and desires and get them started on their journey at an earlier age than we were able to do for ourselves.
Our Children arrived on earth with their personal manual and guidance system. Our job is not to control the outcome, but to help them find it, connect with it, and follow it. And that is done by listening, observing, and being open to their needs, not our own personal desires for them.
Let’s raise conscious children that will light up the world with playfulness, openness, curiosity, intuitiveness, and happiness.